Yesterday, I went to the 1st day of the Expo Mom 2016 with my co-mommy blogger Michelle. Since we went after shift, we missed some of the activities scheduled on the 1st day. Good thing, we were still able to attend the Mindful Mom Session.
At first, I didn’t know what to expect about the Mindful Mom session. I thought it was being more aware about my son, but it’s not actually that. It’s more about being aware of myself and what it implies to motherhood.
The Mindful Mom session was headed by Michelle Alignay, a registered Psychologist. Together with her are 2 mothers as well, Mitch Llaban and RJ Dancel. I was so excited to see RJ since I’ve been a follower of her blog, The Millennial Panda.
They started off by talking about the hardships of motherhood. It was so relieving to hear some of their issues because I am experiencing those as well. As moms, we all try to be “supermoms” taking care of everyone and everything. But then, who takes care of us?
We are like the batteries of our cellphones. We also need to charge to make sure that it works. And the recipient are the kids.”
When Michelle mentioned this quote, I can’t help but recall all of the hardships that I’ve experienced so far. It was so heartfelt, I wanted to cry. Of course, I didn’t.
The things that “charge” us are our passions, other than our kids. We have our friends, groups, leisure activities, businesses. etc. “You name it, the moms have it,” Michelle added.
“When you give space to the things that fulfill you, we tend to be more efficient and it gives us more positive energy.”
This reminded me of my blog. I have just started this blog this year, but it has been the most rewarding thing I’ve ever did. It helped me connect with others, gave me opportunities to join events, and it changed me as a person. The person I am now is different from what I was roughly 2 months ago: I am more confident, more positive, and more reflective.
But what about the mommy guilt? That feeling we get when we are elsewhere other than beside our kids? My son is already turning 2 this August, but I am still not free from the Mommy Guilt. Whenever I hear new things that my son can do, I feel bad that I wasn’t able to see it because I’m at work. Whenever something bad happens to him like an insect bit or a bump, I blame myself for not being there.
“The best judge of myself is myself.” -RJ Dancel
Sometimes, we feel guilty for not being perfect. But should we really be guilty about it? We are humans too. We are made to be imperfect.
We have to let go of the guilt. Because how can you give positivity if you’re negative?”
The aim of Mindful Mom is to (1) prioritize things that are important and let go of the ones that are not, and (2) focus on our strengths and let go of our weakness.
In my post the single mom mindset, I talked about how I learned to outsource some of the tasks, especially now that we don’t have a helper at home. So, in a way, I have already learned to prioritize. A bit? Now, #2 is still a work-in-progress. I have to learn to recognize my weaknesses and ask help from others.
We have something in common. We’re all moms.
Each one of us are going through something right now. And whatever that challenge is, we will not be able to give our best to our children if we do not recharge. We have to learn to take care of ourselves. We have to be a Mindful Mom.
We raise our kids to not need us in the future. When they don’t need us anymore, what is left of us?
How do we become a Mindful Mom?
Below are some tips from them:
–Celebrate motherhood and be grateful at all times.
A lot of people are praying for children but not all of us are blessed. Let’s be thankful of what we have. When we are grateful that they’re with us, they inspire us.
–Involve our family members as we take care of ourselves.
I’m pretty sure I’m guilty of not doing this. I wanted to be the superhero of the family. I LOVE taking care of the famly, but who takes care of me? I commit to involve the family more. Besides, we’ll be doing this for the rest of our lives.
-Take time for all the roles that you have.
We are a mom, among other things. Let’s make sure that we also allot time for the other things so that we make meaningful contribution to each.
-Don’t pressure yourself to be like other moms. You have to be you.
I wasn’t able to use cloth diaper for my son, but that’s okay. I was not able to record all of his milestones, but that’s okay. I am not with him 24/7, buy that’s okay.
-Take time for yourself. Especially if you’re pregnant, appreciate the time that you have now.
Yes, you would lose that once you have your child. No more long baths and no more alone time. Enjoy it while it’s there.
-Avoid the super mom complex.
Ask help from others and don’t try to do everything. Accept their help, because you’re blessed if there are people around you who’d like to help.
We worry about the children’s tomorrow that we forgot who we are today.
We need to experience our children today. The best gift that we can give our child is to let them experience who we are as a mom. They will not remember the toys, clothes, and places you’ve been to. They will remember how happy you made them feel… so that someday,our children can tell us “you’re there mom“.
Dress slowly when you’re in a hurry.
It’s all about making time for ourselves. Let us put ourselves in the equation of the motherhood journey so we don’t lose our essence of being a mom. And with these learnings, we will all achieve the journey through awareness, self-awareness, and then to mindfulness…being a full-pledged Mindful Mom.
The mother hood is a journey. It’s not a destination.
– Michelle Alignay
I commit to being a Mindful Mom. I’ll make sure that I will enjoy each stage of motherhood. Are you with me?
If you enjoyed this post, you can still enjoy the other sessions of day 2 of Expo Mom 2016! The event will be until April 30, 2016. Do visit to hear inspiring talks, avail of special discounts, and get freebies from partner brands.
Enjoy life. Cheers!