in Events, Parenting

Mindful Mom Session at the Expo Mom 2016

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Yesterday, I went to the 1st day of the Expo Mom 2016 with my co-mommy blogger Michelle. Since we went after shift, we missed some of the activities scheduled on the 1st day. Good thing, we were still able to attend the Mindful Mom Session.

At first, I didn’t know what to expect about the Mindful Mom session. I thought it was being more aware about my son, but it’s not actually that. It’s more about being aware of myself and what it implies to motherhood.

 

The Mindful Mom session was headed by Michelle Alignay, a registered Psychologist. Together with her are 2 mothers as well, Mitch Llaban and RJ Dancel. I was so excited to see RJ since I’ve been a follower of her blog, The Millennial Panda.

They started off by talking about the hardships of motherhood. It was so relieving to hear some of their issues because I am experiencing those as well. As moms, we all try to be “supermoms” taking care of everyone and everything. But then, who takes care of us?

We are like the batteries of our cellphones. We also need to charge to make sure that it works. And the recipient are the kids.”

When Michelle mentioned this quote, I can’t help but recall all of the hardships that I’ve experienced so far. It was so heartfelt, I wanted to cry. Of course, I didn’t.

The things that “charge” us are our passions, other than our kids. We have our friends, groups, leisure activities, businesses. etc. “You name it, the moms have it,” Michelle added.

“When you give space to the things that fulfill you, we tend to be more efficient and it gives us more positive energy.”

This reminded me of my blog. I have just started this blog this year, but it has been the most rewarding thing I’ve ever did. It helped me connect with others, gave me opportunities to join events, and it changed me as a person. The person I am now is different from what I was roughly 2 months ago: I am more confident, more positive, and more reflective.

But what about the mommy guilt? That feeling we get when we are elsewhere other than beside our kids? My son is already turning 2 this August, but I am still not free from the Mommy Guilt. Whenever I hear new things that my son can do, I feel bad that I wasn’t able to see it because I’m at work. Whenever something bad happens to him like an insect bit or a bump, I blame myself for not being there.

“The best judge of myself is myself.” -RJ Dancel

Sometimes, we feel guilty for not being perfect. But should we really be guilty about it? We are humans too. We are made to be imperfect.

We have to let go of the guilt. Because how can you give positivity if you’re negative?”

The aim of Mindful Mom is to (1) prioritize things that are important and let go of the ones that are not, and (2) focus on our strengths and let go of our weakness.

In my post the single mom mindset, I talked about how I learned to outsource some of the tasks, especially now that we don’t have a helper at home. So, in a way, I have already learned to prioritize. A bit? Now, #2 is still a work-in-progress. I have to learn to recognize my weaknesses and ask help from others.

We have something in common. We’re all moms.

Each one of us are going through something right now. And whatever that challenge is, we will not be able to give our best to our children if we do not recharge. We have to learn to take care of ourselves. We have to be a Mindful Mom.

We raise our kids to not need us in the future. When they don’t need us anymore, what is left of us?

 

How do we become a Mindful Mom?

Below are some tips from them:

From Mitch:

Celebrate motherhood and be grateful at all times.

A lot of people are praying for children but not all of us are blessed. Let’s be thankful of what we have. When we are grateful that they’re with us, they inspire us.

Involve our family members as we take care of ourselves.

I’m pretty sure I’m guilty of not doing this. I wanted to be the superhero of the family. I LOVE taking care of the famly, but who takes care of me? I commit to involve the family more. Besides, we’ll be doing this for the rest of our lives.

-Take time for all the roles that you have.

We are a mom, among other things. Let’s make sure that we also allot time for the other things so that we make meaningful contribution to each.

From RJ:

-Don’t pressure yourself to be like other moms. You have to be you. 

I wasn’t able to use cloth diaper for my son, but that’s okay. I was not able to record all of his milestones, but that’s okay. I am not with him 24/7, buy that’s okay.

-Take time for yourself. Especially if you’re pregnant, appreciate the time that you have now.

Yes, you would lose that once you have your child. No more long baths and no more alone time. Enjoy it while it’s there.

-Avoid the super mom complex.

Ask help from others and don’t try to do everything. Accept their help, because you’re blessed if there are people around you who’d like to help.

We worry about the children’s tomorrow that we forgot who we are today.

We need to experience our children today. The best gift that we can give our child is to let them experience who we are as a mom. They will not remember the toys, clothes, and places you’ve been to. They will remember how happy you made them feel… so that someday,our children can tell us “you’re there mom“.

Dress slowly when you’re in a hurry.

It’s all about making time for ourselves. Let us put ourselves in the equation of the motherhood journey so we don’t lose our essence of being a mom. And with these learnings, we will all achieve the journey through awareness, self-awareness, and then to mindfulness…being a full-pledged Mindful Mom.

The mother hood is a journey. It’s not a destination.

– Michelle Alignay

I commit to being a Mindful Mom. I’ll make sure that I will enjoy each stage of motherhood. Are you with me?

If you enjoyed this post, you can still enjoy the other sessions of day 2 of Expo Mom 2016! The event will be until April 30, 2016. Do visit to hear inspiring talks, avail of special discounts, and get freebies from partner brands.

Enjoy life. Cheers!

~Nina

 

25 Comments

  1. Sonnie

    Marriage is teamwork, it’ll not be value adding if one is not doing his/her part.

    If one of the spouses felt their need is not taken care of, whether this is substantiated or not, to me is a red flag.

    Husband and wife need to talk more.

    04 . May . 2016
    • Nina Sogue

      Thanks, Sonnie. Great advice, as usual. I’m looking forward to working this out with the hubby. Thank you for all the advice 🙂

      04 . May . 2016
  2. Dominic Barrios

    “I commit to involve the husband more. Besides, we’ll be doing this for the rest of our lives.” <— The line that I loved the most from your post.

    As a husband, I would also want to be involved with taking care of my wife and making her happy. This is marriage. We should do things together. 🙂

    Btw, I'm happy you were also there. Ichel and Michelle are both my friends and they are truly blessings for all moms and parents like us.

    03 . May . 2016
    • Nina Sogue

      Thanks, Dominic! That’s makes sense. I hadn’t thought of it that way before. I just wanted to take care of my family and never thought about myself. I’m so lucky to have attended that talk.

      I don’t have much mom friends so I don’t have a lot of people to talk about my experiences. Even if I wasn’t actively participating, I felt like we were actively talking because I can relate with everything. It’s super relieving to find out that what I was feeling was normal. And their tips really helped 🙂

      03 . May . 2016
    • Sonnie

      +1 to that Dominic.

      04 . May . 2016
  3. Marge Gavan

    I”m not yet a mom but I do agree with some points discussed in this expo, especially the involving the husband part. The father is as much a part of the raising kids and keeping the family together as the mother. It should be a partnership. Some mothers I know forget to involve their husbands and this should be corrected.

    02 . May . 2016
    • Nina Sogue

      Hi Marge! I was guilty with that, actually. I wanted to prove so much that I can “do it”. Good thing I’ve attended this. I’m more mindful now, and I’m now involving my hubby 🙂

      03 . May . 2016
  4. Berlin

    Sadly wasnt able to catch this but thank you for sharing this with us. Though im a mom of four, still it doesnt make me the all perfect know it all mom. So may new lessons learned from your sharing. Thank you again.

    02 . May . 2016
    • Nina Sogue

      Hi Berlin. Yeah, parenting is a different experience, and it sometimes differs depending on the kids din. I wish you could’ve been there. It was really a good talk. Very simple but straight to the heart. Everything echoes with that I felt / am feeling. It felt good to know that I wasn’t the only one 🙂

      02 . May . 2016
  5. Klaudia's Corner

    How nice , such an appreciation for all mothers . And this at the same time , as we here in Spain celebrate ‘Mother’s Day’ . The quotes are really nice and most are so wise ! Funny how we sound more and more like our moms as we grow older . Your post is a great ode to all loving moms out there <3

    02 . May . 2016
    • Nina Sogue

      That’s so true. I’m turning into my mom! Haha. We’ll be celebrating Mother’s Day here on Sunday. I still don’t have ideas on what to do with my mom.

      02 . May . 2016
  6. Joanna

    I do not have children but one thing that you said made me thing of my childhood and at children today. You shouldn’t feel guilty if your child falls down, or gets bitten by an insect. I see that a lot of mothers protect their children a lot these days, not letting them play outside because of the fear that they will get hurt. And those children’s immune system is down, they get sick from anything.When I was little I used to play with dirt, pet stray dogs, eat unwashed cherries, all one after the other. And that is how my immune system got strong, and I was never sick.

    02 . May . 2016
    • Nina Sogue

      My mom was overprotective so we missed a lot of experiences when we were kids. I hope I don’t turn to her. Haha. But yeah, it’s hard to not be protective of your child, but I’m happy that I can control myself more now 🙂

      02 . May . 2016
  7. Darlene

    Great insights for first time moms! While i’m not a mom yet, I do however can relate from what my friends tell about their plight as first time mommies. I agree, it is really hard to become a super mom and being a mindful mom is better.

    01 . May . 2016
    • Nina Sogue

      Super true! I’m trying to really be more mindful. I’ve heard they have retreats too, now that’s something I’d really want to experience 🙂

      02 . May . 2016
  8. Arrianne Guzman

    Wow! Such a great event for all the mothers out there! I believe being a mother is one of the hardest jobs in the world. And events like this one can better support mothers. Great post, this raise so much awareness especially to first time mommies.

    01 . May . 2016
    • Nina Sogue

      Thanks, Arrianne! Moms of today are lucky that there are talks like this now 🙂

      02 . May . 2016
  9. Alison

    This sounds like it was exactly what every mom blogger needs to hear! I loved all the quotes that you had and how you really paid attention to the mental health of a mom. This would be a great conference because it feels motivating!

    01 . May . 2016
    • Nina Sogue

      I was rushing on really quoting down a lot of what they’re saying. Everything speaks to me <3

      02 . May . 2016
  10. R U S S

    Im not a mom but I know how tough it can be. The roles moms play and juggling everything is a lot of work but I’ve heard from mom friends & my own mom that it can be fulfilling.

    I think it’s great that you were able to go to this expo. I like the tips shared and what mindful mom promote. Happy Mom = Happy Homes. Most mothers are selfless and all deserve to enjoy the journey of motherhood.

    01 . May . 2016
    • Nina Sogue

      I used to now believe in the “Happy Wife = Happy Life” quote, but now I really do! Our mood affects the energy that we give to our family.

      02 . May . 2016
  11. ROBERT LEE

    I have two thoughts.

    1. Moms need to have me time and to be appreciated and for most, that is good enough to recharge.

    2. Moms also need to and I agree with you, to manage expectations and emotion. The way a husband thinks for example is not the same as a woman. Too much expectations lead to frustration. As I caution moms on managing expectations, I encourage husbands to be more sensitive and stop using work as a justification on why he is having it just as hard too.

    30 . Apr . 2016
    • Nina Sogue

      Hi Robert. I totally agree on #1. For me, my “me time” is blogging. That’s enough for me to recharge 🙂

      For #2, guilty. I tried to be a “superwoman”, and failed miserably. Not only was I too tired, I was also too cranky. I guess it really should to 2-way: husbands should be sensitive, and wives should also be open about what they really feel.

      02 . May . 2016
  12. Michelle

    This is my favorite part of the ExpoMom2016! 🙂 I am so excited for the upcoming Mindful Moms Retreat. Sana maka-score tayo ng slot! Hihi see you!

    30 . Apr . 2016
    • Nina Sogue

      Sana! I followed them on FB 🙂

      02 . May . 2016

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