Just Go Nina
One common misconception about me is that I’m a strong person. Well, I wouldn’t blame anyone. I usually talk with passion or with conviction that I come across as confident. But you see, deep down, I’m just one scaredy cat. Or should I say girl?
What it used to be
You see, I used to be an outgoing person when I was younger, but at one point, it just changed. Stage opportunities would usually give me a scare, but then I’d get lost in enjoyment that I forget that I am scared. Of what? Committing mistakes, maybe? Or doing something stupid? Or maybe, just being judged. Because, you know, that’s what people do. As I grew older, this realization became stronger so I became scared of sharing parts of me.
I got scared of saying “Hi” for fear of not getting a “Hi” back. I got scared of talking to people for fear of rejection. I got scared of approaching people, because, honestly, I don’t know. I was just scared. I even got scared of paying in the jeep that I stuttered at one point. And so, I started building my wall. It became my comfort zone.
On hindsight, I could’ve been depressed then, but I was scared of getting an evaluation so…
What it is
Essentially, it became difficult for me to share bits of myself. I became socially awkward, probably more than I used to be. I usually use humor to escape the butterflies that I feel with every small talk. It doesn’t come across to others, but I’m not kidding myself.
Thank goodness, one good thing about learning to be mindful is that you can have that sorta out of body experience. You know that exaggerated moment wherein you get to look at yourself, really look at yourself and the people around you, and have a lens from outside the box? I didn’t like what I was feeling then and I know that I was being misunderstood for not speaking up, so I made a conscious effort to evaluate WHY.
Let’s face it, I was miserable. And just when I couldn’t take it any longer, that’s when I decided to cut stuff from my life. I decided to take a step out of my comfort zone and JUST GO.
What I want it to be
I got tired of being sad. I decided to be my own cheerleader, and tada! That’s when I decided to rebrand the blog. JUST GO NINA. Just go. Go with the flow and embrace life to the fullest.
Whenever I go through moments wherein I feel scared, I remind myself to JUST GO. Go…talk to that person. Go to that place I’ve always wanted. Go, grab that opportunity. Go, upload that YouTube video.
Life is too short. I wasted XX years being scared about things that are most likely, just in my head. I won’t be wasting my life anymore.
Hope you guys like my rebranding. And I also hope that I can continue to JUST GO. Cheer for me? 🙂
Enjoy life. Cheers!